Technophobic Time-traveler Gifts

'To be honest, I'm having trouble keeping up with all this new technology.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

Moses on the web

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"I don't know who you are!"

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Grandma's caf

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'