Technology-savvy Cleric Prints

Internet Search- Find God

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

Follow God On Twitter

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

The mobile -priest was keen to use modern technology to 'keep in touch' with his parishioners!

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'To everything there is a season; a time to cut, and a time to paste...'

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"You may need to pep up your sermons, sir. Some of the members are requesting WIFI in the pews."

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Palm Top Readings

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.