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Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

"Isn't there an app for this?"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

US election postal vote controversy

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Final words on gravestones.

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"My new watch has a G.P.S. function but it always puts me in the right place at the wrong time."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'