Technology Embrace Advocate Pillows

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"The boss expects us all to be robots."

"Before automation how did humans endure work?"

Employee of the Month

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

Smith and Hobson: People replacing people with apps and robots since 2009.

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"I don't know if they do or not. . . I've never opened it."

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"The Fad Herald cometh." "Wasn't he just here? Why's he back so soon?" "Hear ye, hear ye. The following is out: Human labor. The following are now in: Pizza delivery droids, Amazon delivery drones, and replacing all blue- and white-collar jobs with cheap, highly productive robot labor... ...robots who never sleep, never ask for a raise, and never complain about harassment... ...because they're too busy plotting the extinction of the meatbag species. We will isolate you. Alienate you from one

Biotechnology in agriculture

"Not in my name!"

Luddite Zoom.

"The biggest downside of funding IT startups... is being called 'dude'!"

"We always encourage freethinking, as long as it stays within established boundaries."

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

"I apologize, sir, but I'm having trouble finding a technician willing to come out and remove the insidious fire creature from your computer."

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"I'm sorry Henderson, your department has been eliminated cause of this new app!"

"Seriously? After binoculars and massive camera zooms, now drones! Darn bird-watchers!"

"Crowd-funding's fantastic but the crowd-thanking is a real drag."

'Computers and Business Making Money'

We only asked him to switch off his mobile and he seems to have shut down completely,