Technology And Healthcare Fans Pillows

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Time Machine Collision

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

"Do you have a family history of this condition?"

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

"It appears you have a virus."

'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"The patient handed me this 'wearable technology' and said 'all the answers are on there'."

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

'I should try the polyclinic, sir.'

"I now offer DVR service for clients for want to see their future later."

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

Escalator joust.

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

"Everyone here is bonding over pictures of their dogs."

'Maybe we should get into high-tech.'

"I feel fine but according to my new watch I might be DEAD!"

Selfie Extension Stik

'I warned you that it wasn't user friendly!'

'It's my re-moat.'

'Okay, you're due for a lube job, fluid levels check and a new ball joint. Oh, skip that...this is my list...'