Health Technology Devotee Pillows

"I feel fine but according to my new watch I might be DEAD!"

"Textin’"

"We need to update your entire operating system."

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

"Just think of this prescription as an app for your body...with side effects."

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Hold on - it may take a few minutes for his new pacemaker to sync with his Fitbit.

That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I will ask my Smart Phone

"The patient handed me this 'wearable technology' and said 'all the answers are on there'."

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"I've been using the latest home tech and apps to monitor my health....And after feeding the results into some online medical sites I discovered I was dead!"

'This new diet drug comes as a pill, patch, or as a phone app with Siri saying, don't eat so much.'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'If I do decide to get a second opinion, can I get it at your blog?'

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

'Don't worry about the workload. The boss upgraded the computer.'

Couple are so focused on their cellphones they don't notice their house burning down around them.

"Your scan showed up a kidney stone, but I've deleted it in Photoshop."

"Hi, Mum, I'm last in the race, but I do have the best mobile."

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

Cyber-Cise: 'Let's start with 3 sets of 8 reps of uploading, rest and repeat for downloading.'

Going to a split screen doesn't count as a second opinion, doctor.

'New Religion'

"The doctor says your vital signs are strong, but the IT guy says your portal password is weak."

'Nurse Nodnik will be live blogging the operation.'

"The good news is your virus is gone. The bad news is it infected your electronic health records."

"I knew the romance had left our relationship when he bought me a new sphygmomanometer for Valentine's Day!"

"So, how do you like your new medical website?"