Tech Upgrade Celebration Pillows

Very old fashioned computer.

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

Big Data Tonight

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'We've decided to upgrade your position with a new version 2.0 employee.'

"I upgrade then it's obsolete and I have to upgrade again! As soon as I upgrade I have to upgrade again! Upgrade! Upgrade!! Always upgrade!!"

God creates humans.

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

Obsolete: Any piece of software or hardware that your school brought last year for mega bucks.

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

"After you're done crank starting your computer, maybe we can talk about investing in better technology."

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'We need a new TV, Dad — it's stupid watching 'Reading Rainbow' in black and white.'

"Are they nuts? I didn't survive 8-tracks, cassettes, CDs, iPods and downloads just to go back to records!"

Man throwing out his outdated TV set.

Television Models

"This home comes with all the latest technology. As part of the tech package, tech-support will live with you until you figure out how to use it all."

'When did this office become a museum?'

'We've got the fastest Internet available, but an old computer. That means we're going nowhere fast."

'All those years I rode those small bikes...well, as you can see, those days are over.'

"And this one has a butt recognition feature. Only you will be able to sit in it."

'Obsolete: Any state of the art equipment you bought last year for $250,000.'

Please Swipe Your Feet

"Humm...I'm thinking this upgrade is going to cost you more than a whole new system."

A man searches for women on the internet.

'His pacemaker keeps opening and shutting the garage door.'

Celebrations in the chat rooms