Tech Tweaker Prints

GPS recalculating

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

Early cyborg.

Mouse in a hamster wheel.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Gadget geek.

The Not-So Smart Meter

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

Bicycle sat nav.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'