Tech-troubled Dad Gifts

'There's no dial tone on this.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Computer Room.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

The cell phone soother for life.

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

"Go ask your search engine."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

"Before Thornton goes to bed, you might let him spend some time with this toy. It's a new concept in bubble-making technology. As you will note, it has a number of interchangeable components that allow for many variations and options as to the quantity an