Tech-troubled Dad Prints

'There's no dial tone on this.'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Computer Room.

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

The cell phone soother for life.

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

The Digital Family

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

'Sorry, I can't help you, the computer's down again.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"The Internet ate my baby!"

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

No caption (A daughter shines a light from her cellphone as her dad makes a Twitter icon shadow puppet).

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

"Go ask your search engine."

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.

Tech Support/Counseling for Anxiety caused by tech-support.

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'