Tech Trouble Humorists Gifts

Computer tech support sacred offering

It went out. The program must have crashed.

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"Darn autocorrect!"

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

I've always been slower than computers...

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

Noah posted his first tweet.

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"That guys is stealing my data!"

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Mom, I need a push.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"Remember, the password is case sensitive."

'Universal remote, my eye!'

I hear you're sending Rudy to a clandestine meeting with Russian agents for the purpose of coordinating the blackmailing of the American president. What?! I am not! What ever gave you such an outlandish idea? I overheard Rudy asking Siri "How do I say 'hello' in Russian?" That proves nothing. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'my boss wants your boss to blackmail our president' in Russian?" That could mean anything. Then he said "Siri, how do I say 'that means exactly what it sounds like it means

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

Virtual Lap Dancing

'Wi-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!'

Knights of the iPhone

Lizzie Borden in the 21st Century...

I didn't see who attacked me, but that's the guy who got it all on his phone.

Last Chance To take Selfie For All Eternity.

'This must be the Sea of Tranquility.'

"Be careful of what you say. The CEO is listening in."

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"Yes, our ad said no salesman would call. I'm a sales-bot."

"...and don't fall for that trunk enlargement scam."