Tech Team Member T-Shirts

"Our tech team has figured out why you've been so unproductive. Apparently, your computer is over 20 years old. We've ordered you a new one."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

S.S.dot.com

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Fact amnesty"

'Early Laptops.'

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

Tech support...can I help you!

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."