Tech Support Sympathizer Prints

You ready? You betcha. J-Lo will have a love child with Alan Greenspan, then cure male-pattern baldness. From the files of: It could happen in 2021. Technical support will answer the phone.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

Gadget geek.

Computer Expert

Geek fairies

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Terry had a computer bug.

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

If Disney was a software company

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Hardware and software

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

Man feeding his computer money.

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."