Tech Speculator Pillows

"In the tech sector, markets reacted strongly to news that ToadNoggle would acquire Zeepzer, ending rumors of a hostile takeover by FiffleBunny."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Privacy

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

Domestic Spying Drones

'I wonder how this is going to affect the market?'

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served

'These bitcoins things are backed by technology and the internet! What could possibly go wrong?'

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'

'Here's a picture of my mom before Photoshop!'

"I know it seems cruel, but it's the only way for him to get rid of that silly technophobia."