Tech-savvy Treaters Gifts

"Trick or Treat! Due to Covid-19 we now accept contactless payments..."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"So, with internet shopping and guaranteed next-day delivery, I figured now was as good a time as any to hang my sack up and retire."

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

I'm just dying to try out this new Rorschach app! ?

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"That dog training school we sent him to was all they said it would be!"

Computer Time Bomb.

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

"Nurse, could you please click Ok?"

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

"Take two aspirin and text me in the morning."

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"New tricks CD Rom"

'That's my diagnosis. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my computer.'

How to find gold.

"I'm getting the hang of the patient portal. It reminded me to refill my beta blocker, but I keep getting ads. Can you prescribe a good pop-up blocker too?"

'Twitter Tweet'

"I'll help you with your weak Wi-Fi signal. But the next time you call a super hero, make sure it's a real emergency."

"I guess the rollout of my discovery, fire, could have gone better."

"Pleasant Hill Funeral Home. Free Wi-Fi."

'Mommy!'

"All my devices are in there fighting over dominance again. I'm waiting out here until they're finished. It gets on my nerves."