Tech-savvy Taste-tester T-Shirts

"I don't normally allow it on the first date, but yes, you can take a photo of my meal."

Bad for you but to die for

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Cereal Tasting.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

Avocado Timeline

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"Something photogenic for each of us."

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"I'm texting my compliments to the chef!"