Luxury Taste Tester T-Shirts

Man eating a bad oyster

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Cereal Tasting.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"More?"

Big Burgers.

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

Dijon Vu

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'