Trusty Taste-tester T-Shirts

'Give me the horse meat stew, at least that way I'll know what I'm eating.'

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Your meal sounded nice."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Cereal Tasting.

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

"Ok mummy, perhaps this isn't so crummy!"

Angel and Devil Music.

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"