Tech-savvy Jokes Pillows

"I think I'm losing my memory."

"Talk nerdy to me."

'You must have been wearing your beer googles.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

>Enter new password: BEEF STEW >Password not stroganoff.

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

Isn't it cool? I printed out my reply to your raise request using the 3-D printer! NO!

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"Dude. You need to get cable."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"So you are the data protection supervisor of the German government?"

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

Social network site runs into trouble.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'