Tech-savvy Investor Pillows

"Hold on, Ms. Goodwin. I'm checking with the algorithm that's managing your money."

"Oh, just sitting back and letting algorithms do all the stock trading."

'Do you have a phone with the opening bell on Wall Street as a ring tone?'

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

Bitcoins Mining

"How many investment apps will this get me?"

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

e-shoes

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

"Did you get my tweet?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

Weird things I do because of the internet

Relaxing in the Sun

'When I took this job, I had no idea how much it would cut into my quality, family texting time.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

Mr Jones is not seeing anyone in person. Do you have a webcam?

The Re-Opening of Schools

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

Early Learning Today

'Ever since I started reading the newswpaper online, he's been bringing my computer to me.'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

God's Phone

'Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

'...till death, or a really huge argument over ringtones, do you part.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"What makes you question our motives for coming here?"