Tech-savvy Feline Fan Gifts

'I like the touch screen, but I miss playing with the mouse.'

Hang on – I need to take a photo for proof of delivery.

"That cat is feral, but I am making progress with him. He won't let me touch him, but he is texting me."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

'Happy now?'