Tech-savvy Feline Fans Gifts

'I'm a lap cat. So, naturally I prefer a laptop.'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Do you have any catsup?'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

"It doesn't say, son, who they pawned the kittens off on after the flood."

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."