Tech-savvy Decor Enthusiast Pillows

"How may Dpi?"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Board Game Hunter

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Posh Easter Egg

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

King Madras