Tech-savvy Ascetic Gifts

You're on mute

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"A virus ate my homework."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

'There's been an update. Instead of abracadabra, it's option/control key.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

'I got one of those new crystal ball smart watches.'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

'Did you try 'Google'?'

'Why can't we just go to school.org?'

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

"I sent his online bullying to my spam folder and his personal bullying to the Principal's folder!"

'I'd still be in a luxurious office instead of a smelly cave if I really knew the secret of keeping customers.'

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''