Tech Mogul Gifts

Jeff Bezos Caricature - Donald's Bozo

"Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! Haha! It's Jeff Bezos!"

"Take us to your leader." "Jeff Bezos? Mark Zuckerberg? Oprah?" "Never mind."

My Countree

"Roses are red, violets are blue. You smell like shit, and desperation too."

"Wow thanks, Uncle Elon! Best inauguration ever!"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'If only every year was an election year.'

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'Dog eat dog.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Newspaper suicide.

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

"What's on my schedule today, Fred?"

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

"Leave Lou to me. I'll eat him and then you can run the company."

"To be honest, I'm leaving public service so I can make some real money as a talking head on a cable news network."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

Savory Types

Dragon's den desk. 'I'm in' and 'I'm out' tray on desk.

'You've been killing files again.'

'We're an international company, Mr. Zickenbarth. We've got creditors in more than 200 different countries!'