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Welcome To Utopia - No phones Past This Point

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Barcode Dreams

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Life after death

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Evolution...the wifi rhino.

It was Wilbur's first vacation in 17 years.

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

'I shall now hand over to our guest speaker, management unit XT-56.'

'Much to his disappointment, Thag's coffee percolator was an invention ahead of its time.

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

"So, gentlemen.... By investing in this time vortex manipulator, we will be able to cross the bridges before we come to them."

'Just think...summer's coming, and everyday will be like Saturday morning!'

"Can you spare a few megabytes of your precious time?"

'You see a bunny, I see an off-site system maintained by a 3rd party providing storage, processing power and computer applications.'

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

"I can't afford an iPad so I just glued Apple logos on the back of all my books."

"Get out of the way! The transport vehicle of the future is about to overtake you! Soon everyone will have one!"

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"I love these fitness bracelets! it's like having a tamagotchi, but the tamagotchi is you."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

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"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, give a man a kickstarter campaign and he can write a bad fishing memoir."

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

"Hawaii Five-O" is back? Yeah, but they should call it "Hawaii Version Two Point-0."