Tech Enthusiast With A Twist Gifts

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

Where have you been? I met this woman. She was incredible. Really? Tell me. She's a salesperson at Computer Villa. She's a Dominatrix. Oh no. It was amazing. She told me what to buy. She called my old technology obsolete! Time to check you into a home. Where's Sadie? I need to be spanked with my phone.

'...and don't forget to switch off your cell phones.'

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Claus 2.0

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Hiding the electronics.

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Crap from the future.

"I'm bored."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'