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RANDALL JONES (July 10, 1964 - May 17, 2019) - "Mostly Dicked Around On His Phone"

You've inspired me to write my own memoirs. Scurrilous accusation. I deny culpability. I refuse to be blamed for a book that will glamorize the useless lifestyle of an internet-addicted slacker

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

The cell phone soother for life.

"Textin’"

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

Twitter censorship

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"AI chat bot"

"Fact amnesty"

Oh, the armor is state of the art

Social media and censorship...

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

Modern Life Blues

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

Someday

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

"I'm the innocent victim. School has gotten harder, and my cell phone has gotten dumber."

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

The emperor has no phone!

"Practicing my hate-face."

Better Living Through Technology

"My battery died too. Wanna talk?"

NHS computer: Kaput.

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"In the old days people with small dicks needed big cars. Today they write hate comments against Greta Thunberg."