Tech Company Manager Gifts

"I'm in my forties, and it's my firm belief that Digetek could use someone in his forties to excellent advantage."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Satya Nutella

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

US v.s. Tech Giants

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

Internet.

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

How logos change over time.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"You're hired!"

S.S.dot.com

Bluesky helicopter evacuation from X

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"Fact amnesty"

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

Today, tech stocks rose on news the latest gadgets avoided internet censorship by the Iranian government.'

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

Diner is served

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Silicon Vale