Tech-adverse Tribe Members Pillows

The Lost Tribe

"I neeeeeeed neeeeeeed neeeeeeed my iPhone!"

"Tarzan no want computer."

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"We give thanks for superfast broadband, 4G connectivity ..."

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Pensioners and Phones

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

'We'll put our horses in 'Do Not Track' mode by going through this stream bed.'

RunningBear@Arrowhead.com.

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"Do you think there might be a bitcoin in it?"

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'How much older is the guy I'm dating?' Well, he can play solitaire without a computer...'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

"Remember your password for five bucks, mister?"

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

'Your father can't come to the phone right now, he's stuck in his ways.'

Oy-Bay (Jewish Ebay)

"Your kids can do this in 10 seconds"

Protection from technology

The Power of Social Media: 'I found another good reason to stay a technophobe.'

A frowning man looks at a smiling screen

"Hey, we stole six thousand. Can I post that on Facebook?"

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Screen Saver - The person who stops the cat from mangling the back door.

"He's so stubborn when it involves upgrading to newer technology."

"House sitting for Tia Zulema was the most boring Spring Break job I've ever had."