Teasing Master Pillows

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Tartar sauce.

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

Banana striptease...

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

Hit Me

Come to bed, Snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points and then told him his parents don't love him because he's illiterate! How nice you've found a hobby. I feel so nurtured.

A Dummy Corporation.

'Dad... He's still making faces at me!'

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

'My client was goaded into committing the crime, Your Honor -- he pleads not guilty by reason of teasin'.'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Do you think Ryan Beardsley would like me more if I highlighted my hair? Maybe -

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

Teddy Tree is trying out for lacrosse. LOL! No way! That spazoid nerd? Hey! No one disses my little brother! Ok. Ok! Sorry! That's my job.

"That's not what I meant when I asked you to put him down. Now you've gone and hurt his feelings."

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

Jeffrey's Time Machine: 'This is why I hate talking to Geeky science boys!!'

Of the seven, which dwarf do you identify with?

'Better ease up on the goodnatured barbs...'

'It's a shame really, he used to have his leg pulled a lot when he was a boy.'

What're you doing, numbskull? Text messaging. With who? Randy. He's sitting next to you! It worked. She's going nuts.

"Will you stop saying 'I thought you liked a bit of rough...!!'"

'When you take off your glasses and put a bag over your head you're gorgeous!'

"Will you stop saying I hit a birdie on that last hole! Is it my fault that bird flew into the path of my ball?"

"Why'd you get this fake beard?"

Vicar Baiting