Teasing Humorist T-Shirts

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"Bailiff."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

"Repeat after me..."

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"Very funny."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

"Guilty times infinity."

Hit Me

Banana striptease...

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

The Pole Vault Washing Line

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'