Throwback Humorist T-Shirts

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I hunt and I gather. I invented multitasking.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. X.

"My, it feels good to sit down."

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

"Richelieu, Voltaire, Napoleon...no wonder you know so much about these people. I'm sure you met them personally!"

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

Trump to Build Wall

We are downsizing due to the merger of our hunting and gathering divisions.

'See? I've got a rock AND a stick! -- I've invented MULTITASKING!'

'I don't think Charlie will ever get used to these auto-mobiles.'

Gunswinger

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Jackie Gleason's Old Desk: Trays read: InOutPow, right in the kisser.

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"