Teasing Humorist Pillows

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Bailiff."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Repeat after me..."

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

'Remember, don't discuss the case with the jurors.'

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"Very funny."

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"Guilty times infinity."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

Banana striptease...

Hit Me

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

"Your Honor, it was a lot for any jury to be expected to believe...but we fell for it."

"Roots, figs, water, mammoth meat, and... um... Ugh! Me never remember shopping list!"

'I don't like the look of yours...'

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

'Eton Football (By Dumb-Crambo Junior.)'

'It's internal. Probably one of his stomachs...'

The Pole Vault Washing Line

'Your first trial?'