Teasing Aficionados Mugs

Teddy Tree is trying out for lacrosse. LOL! No way! That spazoid nerd? Hey! No one disses my little brother! Ok. Ok! Sorry! That's my job.

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"Wait, I'm texting the tooth fairy...I always like to keep her informed of these visits."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

"The pay for field testing our new lures isn't much, but you get to keep all the fish you catch."

Tartar sauce.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'Don't you ever get tired of all the whispering?'

Top Secret Files

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Very funny."

Fresh Lobster

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

"Oh my, you're a dirty little weasel, aren't you darling?!"

Hit Me

'Text your leader and tell him I'm here.'

Banana striptease...

'I don't like the look of yours...'

Your brother's just teasing you, dear - I'm sure he didn't lick every one of them.

"If I had a million dollars, I'd buy myself a new car, a new house for Dad and new clothes for Tia Carmen!"

"I'm hexting."

'Hey Goldie, the house is on fire!' 'Wow, I just found out the world is round!' 'I hear they're gonna make gloves out of you.'

"Note to self...'NICE APPS' is not a good opening line."

'No fooling around. I'm a very jealous guy.'

Mothers Without Borders

Love at first text.

'Ooh, I'm getting a text.'

'My dad says I'm good at training little animals - Sit, boy!'

Where's my nephew, Rudy? Haven't seen him in weeks. He just texted me a minute ago. He said "the elf army let us go. I ran into my old buddy. Russian contact arranged boat to motherland … Please feed all my Sims." If that's not his idea of guy-code for "don't bother me, I'm getting lucky," he's probably had a stroke or something. Oh no, then it had to be a stroke!

Really tall guy with a 'Kick Me' sign attached.

"She doesn't have the hots for you. She doesn't even have the lukewarms for you."

'Because it's the only thing that still whistles at me. That's why I keep it.'

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."