Teary Chef T-Shirts

Onion Tears

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'I sent out for everything.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"How can you be out of wings?"

Come dine with me!

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Counting ribs

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Diner.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"States of tofu"

Desert Island Meals.