Tearful Comic Lover Pillows

"No, you can't go back for your sports magazine's swimsuit issue."

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

No-Work Orange

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."