Team Manager In Training Gifts

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

Football Fans

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

"I hate performance review season."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

Pushy Dog

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

Business Meeting

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

'This is gonna be one of those teamwork talks, isn't it?'

'The project isn't that important, so put some of your worst people on it.'

Project Manager Showdown

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

"Either accept the pay reduction or you get sent down to the minors."

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

The Department of People waiting for Something to Happen...

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Great coaching is about building constructive relationships...

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'