Team Loyalty Defender Pillows

"The Browns are the only team in the NFL to have a malpractice squad."

I like the Jets...I guess

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.

Hockey Season.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"You can always count on me."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"Cheer up, Simon. . . I'm always here for you!"

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

"These guys stink. They're the worst team I've ever seen! What a bunch of losers!"

"All the way from the new home in Rye just so she can sniff our old doorman."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

"I don’t know what it is, but every time the Bruins win, I love you more and more!"

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"I hate to break it to you, but you weren't his best friend."

Replica Football Merchandise

Ball and Chain

"Must that dog follow you everywhere?"

'Don't look at me like that! I know it's a banned substance, OK? But how can I compete if I'm the only one in the league not using spinach?!'

'Kaplan, you've been traded. ...Sorry about the tattoos.'

"She's a little overworked but, depending on what happens next Sunday, I'll probably jump back on."

"I wonder why the kids named me Mourinho? I hope it's not because I'll only last a few days..."

"I know he is now our richest client but he is very loyal!"

"As a reward for 25 years of faithful service, here's your new cubical...it's 8% bigger!"

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"I hear you're the expert on loyalty."

'Everywhere that Mary went, I was sure to go. Now, I follow her son...'