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Office Hazing

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"Our open office promotes the interchange of ideas… except they're not about work."

"Any questions?"

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

Teamwork!

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"Always remember...it takes teamwork to get me that promotion!"

'I told you teamwork was the key to success...'

"Fine - you don't want to run in the corporate 5K - I get it. What about the corporate cage fighting team?"

Wrong leadership.

"Managing a major project in these challenging times requires IMAGINATION, the FIRST thing I'd like you to imagine is that you have a team to help you."

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

'In keeping with the team approach, we've traded you for two middle managers to be named later.'

Office Policy: Never Have More Than One Clown On A Team.

Man catching a woman on flying trapeze.

Harp Concerto for Four Hands and Ladder

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

We're one big happy family here. What I'm looking for is a man who can make it work.

'I think we need a good Project Manager to coordinate our efforts...'

'If you only learn one thing while you're here kid, remember, the cherry filled ones are mine!'

"A family party isn't complete until we all insult Tia Rosa's ex-husband."

'Why, those little dickens! Somehow they must have figured out that we're coming to give them their measles shots!'

The entire team applauds you.

The pass the ball to Jones for a three=pointer. I wish I got to shoot sometimes. Me too. Public Health Dept. Vaccine Distribution. Distributing the vaccine is just like when we were coaching basketball. We draw up a plan which specifies who gets the shots. And whatever we decide some people will be unhappy.

"I finally have a team that thinks like me."

'Oh bugger cramp!'

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

Health care success #4