Tea Table Laughter Gifts

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Boss is coming! Discover something!"

"Well, of course we married industrialists. All three of us were young and beautiful, and smokestack America looked like it would last forever."

'No, you don't have hemorrhoids. You have a case of himorrhoids, has your husband been a pain in the butt, lately?'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

"It's okay. That's just adult-speak for hot dogs."

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

"This to you left me says you want a wok."

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

"All in favour say 'ouch'."

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

"Actually he's not begging."

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."

"Chill out, Ben. They're Kosher."

"Some times you just got to know when to shut your blow hole."

"I'm not feeling so good. I think I've got long Covid."

"I just found something else I won't eat."

Clancy: Forthright Opinions

Sad Humour

'Well, you've met the couch potato. Now meet, the chips.'

"Fred's conversational level speaks volumes. When he's losing an argument, he raises the volume."

'I'd give anything to know where Harry hides his poker winnings!'

'Why don't you just give Grandpa a spoon?'

"They know me here Eddie, so for God's sake, don't start washing your food."

I see for myself a life of pain, suffering, heartache, angst, loneliness, ennui, degradation and humble obscurity. My only hope is that tea bags are not as prescient as tea leaves.