
"What do you mean you're from the EX-ternal Revenue Service?"
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"What do you mean you're from the EX-ternal Revenue Service?"
'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'
"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"
'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'
'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'
It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."
'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'
IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'
"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."
'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'
'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'
"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."
'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'
Luck of the IRS.
"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."
American's Funniest Tax Decuctions
P.O. Boxes. It's from the IRS --- It seems they've declared my savings account to be in the public domain.
"They used the ultimate weapon to drive me away. Taxes."
'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'
The day after the meek inherit the Earth.
'Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.'
'You can't deduct your TV as a medical expense, even if it does induce drowsiness, improve sleep patterns, and act as a mild sedative.'
External Revenue Service
'With the tax cut and the federal deficit, the only solution is for you to earn more, Mr. Syms.'
'Come now, sir. This can't be all the wages of sin.'
'Did he have to report it to the IRS every time he touched something?'
''Tax Loopholes for the Rich and Famous' was filmed before a live audience of IRS auditors.'
'I'd love to stay and chat, people, but I have an enormous tax surplus to deal with.'
"You're self-assessment form is a joke!"
"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"
VAT "Don't worry about him he's just here to deal with late payers."
"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"
'That charge is for my accountant because this job is going to put me in a higher tax bracket.'
'Service is just a pastime, pal - my job is to collect taxes.'
In other news, a Kurdish group today announced plans to send humanitarian aid to British and American taxpayers...'
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