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'I'm a taxpayer -- Give me half of what you've got in the vault and we'll call it even.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.