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'I'm a taxpayer -- Give me half of what you've got in the vault and we'll call it even.'

"Me hate capital gains tax!"

Yes, they are all dependants."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'I'm dressed as a vat inspector.'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

'Funny you should mention that - I happen to be involved in a joint research project with the Department of Agriculture for the express purpose of getting blood from a turnip.'

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'The IRS is wondering when you might get around to filing your Federal Income Tax?'

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

"You were observed laughing on the way to the bank. Well, we'll take care of that."

Luck of the IRS.

'I may feel like a million bucks, but after taxes I look like two dollars and fifteen cents.'

"I will grant you three wishes. You should know, however, that after taxes it will be reduced to one and a half wishes."