Tax Turmoil Expert Pillows

'This administration is getting desperate. Now they say I owe taxes on the gains from my practice account.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'The only certainties in life are birth, death, taxes, and stock market uncertainty.'

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

Tax confusion.

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

"But if I raise your allowance you'll loose your none tax payer status"

Alcohol Taxes - Can't afford to be a wino, please help.

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

'Please enter the amount owed here...use an extra sheet of paper if required.'

"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."

"Ms. Jones, find out what my favorite charity is and let me know please."

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

"I'll be with you in a minute, sir - Just have a seat and don't make any funny moves."