Tax Tinkerer Gifts

'What we need is a tax on stupid ideas. The revenue out of Washington alone would balance the budget in two years.'

"Here you are!" "I'll have that, thank you!" Inland revenue gives/takes away.

'How can it be tax evasion when they caught me.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

"I knew I could put this pile of dollars to good use."

Tax reform.

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

'You've been booking the cooks, haven't you?'

'It's going to be difficult for me to convince the Tax Inspector that you gave ?20,000 to charity - into collecting boxes on Flag Day!'

'Tax returns prepared - honest mistakes our speciality.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"I live on Elm Street, but for tax purposes my dad says we live on the Cayman Islands."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

Gadget geek.

The Not-So Smart Meter

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.