Tax Survivor Gifts

T-shirt slogan: 'I survived the audit.'

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

'Termites devour my house, the kids devour the hair off my head and taxes devour all my profits... I'm at the bottom of the food chain'!

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

"Thar someone from the IRS blows!"

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

'I just got audited by the I.R.S...was it legal for them to shake me upside down by my ankles?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Dr. Kapuchnik, I feel like there are powerful, sinister, unseen forces conspiring to do me harm, even though I haven't done anything wrong. Does this condition have a name? It's called April 15th, Al. Tax day.

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'McWit Plumbing and Lite Puff Pastries.' The only way to survive in today's economy it's good to diversify.'

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"Trust me, son, if there was a monster under your bed I would have claimed it as a dependent by now."

'Oh no! It's VAT man!'

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.