Tax Schemer T-Shirts

"No, I don't want the money in a bag. I want it in my business account. My payroll and taxes are due."

'Think of all the tax possibilities if there really were a parallel universe.'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

News and Magazines. Tax Bill Debate. The trickle-down can never compete with siphon-up.

"For this job, we require someone with excellent multi-taxing skills."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

Panama Papers Scandal

'By proposing a merger instead of marriage, we can deduct this meal as a business expense.'

'It's tax avoidance crackdown avoidance.'

"I wish I had done more pro bono work. I need the tax write offs."

Money laundering.

'I wonder if I can declare you as dependents on my income taxes?'

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'I made my fortune the old fashioned way - concealing it from the government.'

"The public seems concerned about the size of government."

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."