Tax Savvy Reader Gifts

IRS, 'Nice try, but you can't deduct your bartender as your 'drinking consultant.''

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'How's daddy's little deductions doing?'

"You may think the government is a big 'Giveaway' program, but you can't deduct your tax as a charitable contribution."

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

Congressional Budget Committee: Benefactor...Victim

You want an extension? Good heavens, man, we haven't even paid for Reagans boondoggles yet!

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"It's no use, Super Rich! Your labyrinthine, yet entirely legal tax structures are too powerful for me!"

'Okay... now everyone smile and say: 'that;s not deductible'.'

'Aluminum siding will be used to cut costs in restoration at the U.S. Capitol.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

New Improved I.R.S.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"Our accountant is great. We were a C corp, but now we're a B- corp."

Romney: 'Corporations are people! We just pay a lot less taxes than you!'

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

'You Americans call it 'Illegal Tax Evasion'? Well, here in Europe, we call it 'Monaco Effect Investments''!

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

Stimulus bust

'I sent my mother to jail. I work for the IRS.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

'I'd like to think they contribute because it's the right thing to do, but I'm not above a short sermon on tax deductibility.'

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'