Tax Advisors Gifts

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'If you call my allowance a grant, you claim it as a deduction on your income tax.'

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

"It's too late to give a tax cut to the rich, Sire -- They're all poor now."

'But where would the IRS agent get the idea that we might be in a dummy corporation.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"We're not raising taxes...but we are announcing a new tax on tax refunds."

"Hi, Mr. Tepper. This is the I.R.S. Say, back in April, when you paid your tax, we had no idea of the sort of bills Uncle Sam would be running up, and-well, the long and the short of it is that we have to soak you again."

"I told you it would work."

"Welcome aboard. We have no government, so there are no taxes."

'We can tell him about Santa Claus now, but wait a couple of years before we tell him about the IRS.'

White collar crime - tax dodging.

'...plus you owe us $19.95 for the use of the barrel, Mr Mulvey.'

'It's the way adults keep score.'

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

"But the tax evasion did bring me happiness."

Newt Gets a Vote

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

G7 Tax Multinational Companies

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?