Tax Advisers Gifts

'When you cook up a figure make it an odd number like £321.42, not £300.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"HR-bill 9495. Cutting down non-profits."

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Flat tax - equal burden?

The transparent safe box of Panama

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

Panama Papers Scandal

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"